Where I Stood
by Caitlinlaurie
Summary: Izzie has to watch as the man she loves promises to love another. McStizzie angst with some Slexie. Oneshot. This is a revamping of a story I wrote last year .


Title: Where I Stood

Pairings/ Characters: Slexie, McStizzie, with some Derek and Meredith mentions

Warnings: None

Summary: Izzie must watch the man she loves promises to love another.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. If I did, McStizzie would have happened a long time ago. The song "Where I Stood" is by Missy Higgins. Don't own that either.

A/N: This is a repost of an earlier fic. Originally it was Rose who Mark got with, but then I kinda started to hate her and wanted to change it. I have now added Lexie to the story to represent my new fav couple, Slexie!!! I still love McStizzie, but Izzie is a bit crazy at the moment, so I can't really write her well. This fic takes place in the AU future after season 4.

* * *

_Cause I don't know who I am, who I am, without you  
All I know is that I should  
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you  
All I know is that I should  
'Cause she will love you more than I could  
She who dares to stand where I stood_

As Izzie watched him, she felt her heart break. She had known this would happen and she had known that one day he would find someone to love; she just hadn't known it would be so soon.

Everyone had told her she was making a mistake when she began to see Mark Sloan. They had all warned her that he wouldn't change, that he couldn't be faithful to a woman. She had shaken them all off and said that Mark could and would be faithful to a woman, that he just had needed to meet the right woman.

Izzie had wanted to believe that it was her. In all of those late nights when he was bringing her to the heights of ecstasy, when he had gently moved his fingers up to cup her cheek, when he had whispered into her ear, she had allowed herself to pretend that woman was her.

He had been faithful to her; Izzie knew that for certain. For all nine weeks and three days he had been faithful to her.

But then he had found _her_.

When she had gone to his hotel room that night, she had known something was off. Normally he would pin her against the wall and make her scream. Anything to take the edge off.

But Mark's eyes had been shuttered that night. He was sitting at the table in the corner of the room, sipping on that expensive scotch he liked.

"Mark?" She had called. Her voice had been uneasy, because she knew. She knew exactly what was about to happen.

"Izzie," He said quietly, looking up at her face as she made her way over to him. He had lifted his shoulders gently, looking at her with a perplexed look upon his face. "I don't know what to say."

Izzie had felt her world crumble down upon her in that moment. She sat down heavily, dropping her tote bag to the floor. She closed her eyes tightly and whispered harshly, "Just say it, Mark."

"I am so sorry," he began.

"Don't say _that_," Izzie cut in. The sobs were coming faster now, harshly cutting off her ability to breathe. She was gasping as she cried, looking at him through her tears. "Don't apologize, just tell me."

"I met someone," He whispered.

Izzie began to cry in earnest. "I should have known. Hell, I _did_ know."

"I didn't mean for this to happen, I swear." Mark looked so confused and upset that Izzie almost felt sorry for him.

When they had begun their relationship, for lack of a better term, Izzie had demanded faithfulness. Mark had looked at her, as only Mark could, and agreed. She had told him that if he ever felt like straying he should tell her, and they would end things easily. Mark had agreed again and they begun the best three months of Izzie's life.

She had never expected it, but along the way they had become friends. He had almost become a new George to her. After she had ended her relationship with George, they had never been able to return to the way things were. They were friends, but they were no longer George and Izzie.

Mark soon took his place. He made her laugh, and she made him moan. And it had all been alright. Mark would listen when she was having a rough day, and she encouraged his friendship with Derek. It had all been alright.

Until that night.

After he had told her he never meant for it to happen, Izze had let out a sob and said, "You didn't? That's funny, I _knew_ it would."

Mark looked at her with confusion.

"I think I have been always waiting for you to leave me," Izzie said quietly. "I just hoped I could be that girl for you."

"That girl?" Mark asked quietly.

"The one that made you want it all. The marriage, the kids, the happily ever after and all that."

"Izzie, I am so sor—"

"Don't say it!" Izzie had yelled, jumping up. "I don't want to hear it."

Mark had stood as well. His long frame stretching and expanding as he reached his full height. Izzie had suddenly been reminded of why she had first turned to him. He was the only man she knew who made her feel small and delicate. She had always wanted to feel like that.

Izzie turned away from him and whispered, "Who is she?"

"Does it matter?" Mark asked.

"Yes."

"It won't change anything."

"I still want to know."

Mark sighed, looking at Izzie's back. "Lexie."

Izzie whirled around. She could hardly believe it. "But Derek… and Meredith…"

"I have already told Meredith." Mark looked at her with genuine regret in his eyes. If this had been even four months ago, she would have said that Mark Sloan wasn't capable of genuine emotion, but now she knew better.

"How?" Izzie asked, her hurt and confusion was evident in her voice. She could hardly believe that Lexie would do this to her. But then Izzie thought about it and wondered if Lexie had even known she was sleeping with Mark Sloan. Izzie had certainly never mentioned it to her, and Lexie had been so wrapped up in George…

Mark cleared his throat. "Derek asked me to watch out for her. He wanted Lexie to have someone to talk to… I think he just wanted her around in case Meredith ever changed her mind about wanting a sister. I was just being a friend, or at least that's what I thought."

Izzie waved her hand, indicating he should keep going.

"It started small; I brought her coffee and offered her an ear. She was so upset when O'Malley didn't see her the way she wanted. And after that…"

"What?"

"I realized I could never be friends with her, not like I am with you." Mark looked so guilty in that moment, Izzie almost wanted to tell him it was okay. Almost.

"So what is it?"

"Izzie…"

"Is it lust?"

"Izzie…"

"Do you want me to wait until you have it out of your system?" Izzie hated that she had so little self respect that she would ask that.

"It's not lust, Izzie."

And that's when her world fell apart.

It wasn't lust, it was love. He loved her. He truly, deeply loved her. Just like Izzie loved him.

"How do you know?" She couldn't stop herself from asking. "You can't really know you're in love with someone just by sleeping with them. I thought that about George and look how that turned out."

"Izzie," Mark said quietly. "Look at me."

Izzie looked into his eyes and braced herself.

"I haven't slept with her."

Izzie felt the tears as they rolled down her cheeks. She knew then that she wasn't being simply passed over. Mark had found the one. The one for him.

Mark had taken her hand and led her over the bed, sitting down next to her. "These past three months have been so great, Iz. I never thought that I could be like this. You made me believe that I could be a good guy, you have no idea what that means to me. I know everybody warned you about me, and I am so grateful that you didn't listen. You have become my best friend, Isobel."

Izzie gave him a watery smile. "What about Derek?"

"He is my brother," Mark said. "It's not the same thing. You are my best friend and I hope this doesn't change that. I want you in my life, Izzie."

Izzie looked into his blue-grey eyes and she knew she couldn't tell him no. She wanted to scream and yell at him and tell him all the things she needed to say, but she didn't. "I'll always be in your life. You're my attending, remember?"

"That's not what I meant, Izzie."

"I know," Izzie replied, taking a deep, shuddering breath. "You're my best friend too, Mark. I hardly know who I am without you. Nothing will change that. I made the mistake of letting Callie ruin my friendship with George, that won't happen with us."

Mark had given her such a smile in that moment; it made her lies and self-sacrifice worthwhile.

He took her in his arms and hugged her. As he held her, he had whispered, "You'll meet the one someday, Iz."

Izzie wanted to whisper, _I already have_.

_And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call  
You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all  
But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you  
This is what I have to do_

And now, she sat in a church watching as he married Lexie. Christina sat next to her, occasionally patting her hand awkwardly, but she didn't really understand what Izzie was feeling. Nobody did.

She had fooled them all. She had put on such a good act of being happy for Mark that she had fooled everyone around her, except herself. She had lied when her friends had offered comfort; there was nothing they could really do. She had lost the man they had warned her was not the marrying kind.

They were wrong, and so was she.

Mark was the marrying kind, and he had only needed the right girl.

The girl she couldn't be for him.

She couldn't give him what Lexie could. The family, the love… not in the way that Mark needed. Lexie was good, angelic, just what Mark required. As well as giving him the one thing he had always wanted; he and Derek were brothers now.

But she would always be there for him. If he ever needed her, she would be come running. She couldn't help it; she loved him.

Izzie told herself it was better this way; that Lexie was better for him.

But it was a lie.

He was the one for Izzie, she knew that. She was the one who was supposed to marry him and spend her life with him.

She knew all that, and yet she had to watch as Lexie stood by Mark's side and promised to be his wife.

And as Lexie placed the ring on Mark's finger, Izzie resigned herself to a lifetime without the man she loved. But she would do it. She would give it all up for Mark. She wanted him to be happy more than anything else.

And perhaps Lexie could love him more than Izzie. She didn't know, but she had to believe that.

So when the priest asked if there were any objections, she said nothing.

She just watched as Lexie permanently took her place; the place where Izzie had once stood.

'_Cause she will love you more than I could  
She who dares to stand where I stood  
Oh, she who dares to stand where I stood _

* * *

A/N: Please Review!!!


End file.
